GIRLS RECLINE

Sheba, 37, Stella, 32, Joanna, 26, and Elle, 28, are having coffee and sandwiches at Javas. As their empty plates are cleared away…

Elle: Ok I have had it up to here with this dude!
Sheba: Which one now? Pierre?
Stella: She left Pierre a long time ago… this must be the ever enduring Kyeyo.
Joanna: She dumps him, takes him back, dumps him, takes him…

Elle: Can you imagine the first time I told the truth he laughed at me and said I was telling a lie? When I finally decide that it’s time to go back to God and be a good girl then I am a liar. The idiot laughed in my face.
Stella: And you are blaming him, right?
Elle: Of course. He laughed at me.

Sheba: Is that because he is accustomed to your lies? I guess so. The guy does not know when you are telling the truth and if you do tell the truth he cannot be sure you didn’t add a pinch of salt just to add some flavour!
Joanna: You should be congratulating yourself Elle. You told such convincing lies; he cannot believe your truth. Huh! Talk of poetic justice!

Stella: I just wonder how you lie to him and be consistent! I gave up lying when I discovered I have a way of forgetting what I lied about yesterday.
Sheba: If there is anybody to blame for this it is you dear.

Elle: I said I was only trying to change for the better that’s all. Maybe see what it is like on this side of town with Stella. But I think from now on I will stick to what I do best, lie.
Sheba: Better!

Joanna: No Elle. Keep working at telling the truth; it might involve a lot of explaining, as the lies are unearthed, but you will feel better.
Stella: It depends on what you were lying about. Your orgasm? Ha ha haaaa! Because if you have been faking it for ages then out of the blue you decide to tell him you don’t enjoy the sex, he would laugh all right.

Elle: Ooooh come off it Stella! This is no fun…hanging out with you, the mother of integrity. It hurts really bad when someone says you are a liar when you are trying really hard. I guess God will understand from today onwards.

Sheba: At least you are worried about what God will think… we are getting somewhere! Ha ha haaaaaaaa!
Elle: Don’t hold your breath!
Stella: Why aren’t you telling us what the lie – rather truth – was about? For it to cause so much laughter it must have sounded something like: “I’m Mother Theresa”.

Elle: Okay, I told him I loved him. And he said, ‘Okay, what do you want this time?’ And I am like, ‘Serious, I feel you dude’. And he burst into laughter. We had this agreement not to bog our relationship down with love declarations, so now he thinks I’m joking.
Joanna: I’m quite surprised Elle. I thought that is the kind of guy you wanted? Large wallet, no emotions.

Elle: Well, that is what drew me to him initially. But now that I know him, I want the whole package.
Stella: Hmm, Elle in love. Are you for real? Okay someone tell the waiter to give me another coffee…
Joanna: I would love to sit here and talk love with you
Elle, but like Kyeyo, I don’t believe you and I really have to leave. I’m taking Josh to the airport.
Stella: You are not housekeeping…?
Joanna: Don’t start! Gotta run. Ciao.

Stella shakes her head at Joanna’s retreating back. Elle is staring dreamily at her phone. Sheba signals the waiter.

recline@ugandaobserver.com