LET'S TALK... SEX!
With Carolyne Nakazibwe
The urge to make love comes any time all the time, but
if you want to have an unforgettable bout, do not go all
the way if you realize the circumstances are not that conducive.
“After all we are married; everybody knows we have
Of course! But there are times when the environment may
infringe on not only your physical, but psychological space
and it will eventually affect that particular attempt at
loving, whether you like it or not.
So if you want to avoid blaming each other for a not so
satisfying moment, put it off if the problem is your choice
of time and place.
You are at a party at Rock Gardens and the ‘come
on over’ button goes off; it would not be advisable
to go cool it off in the car you parked at the roadside,
like one couple recently did. Definitely in that state many
brains function at only half capacity, but if you fool yourselves
into doing it at the roadside, it will end up being one
of those awkward ones with their thrills but not worth it
after all. The traffic, sneers you will get after and the
discomfort of rushing through a matrimonial special moment
may not be worth it after all. And to crown it all –
like the other couple – you may step out of the car
to menacing looks from the cops… a night in the coolers
for being idle and disorderly. That is what they take you
in for, you know? I see nothing idle about a romp in the
car. But that is no time for you to read the cops the ‘matrimonial
act’; you just don’t have to have it there and
then. Make a hasty retreat to a hotel or even home.
Second scenario, he comes home and for some reason you
have not had a shower, or are simply not feeling that fresh.
Other than letting him go on, find an escape route to the
bathroom. Yes, there is a definite kick in spontaneous sex
and that kind is not usually all that elaborate. But if
you have anything to say about it, be sure to wash up good
and be ever ready. You do not want your spouse to get turned
off when s/he craves oral sex, only to find you quite murky
and tasteless because your last shower was twelve hours
ago! Put it off nicely; a few minutes as you clean up won’t
Sometimes we do a lot of work at work and come home to
more work (outside the conjugal) like rearranging rooms,
changing furniture etc, and you both know your bodies are
more than tired; or you went on a long trip and had to take
There is nothing to be greedy about. You are married, not
stealing sex from other people’s spouses. So instead
of settling for something close to sex, and doze off midway
into the ‘meeting’, have a warm bath together
- preferably scented - and sleep off the fatigue, then launch
into the massive ‘meeting’ later in the night,
you will thank me for that.
In fact even on a wedding night, instead of doing funny
half-halves, it is okay to put sex off for a couple of hours
and tank in some sleep, given the hectic schedule that comes
with today’s wedding!
A story is told of a drunkard who had a high libido that
forced him to behave crazy whenever he wanted his wife.
Once after one too many he hurried home to his wife, only
to find that she had gone for a wake in the neighbourhood.
Without a wink, he made for the home where villagers had
converged to mourn a prominent member. Oblivious of what
was happening, he began tickling and pinching his wife demanding
that she goes home to fulfil her marital duties. Initially
the wife resisted, but the husband could not have any of
it. What ensued was a major battle that ended up costing
this ‘loving’ husband a few teeth.
What he wanted to do was quite romantic, but it was the
wrong time and definitely wrong place.
Of course this guy was drunk, but it is still a lesson to
us; some places and times are definitely wrong, so be reasonable.
This is not tea we are talking about, it is sex.